Base, foul and annoying

By Jon Hillenbrand In Photography

A lesser man might take to his blog to complain about his coworkers.  The total and complete lack of work ethic might bother this man.  Seeing them playing video games all day while this man slaves away at the less glamorous aspects of photography might make this man cringe and beg for mercy.  This lesser man might point out the base, foul and annoying aspects of some of his coworkers “talents” for constant and unending variations on belching and his ability to ignore the loudest speakerphone.  Every day.  Every single day.

This lesser man might complain in his blog about trying to “think positive” and having that positive attitude melt away after the twelfth time his coworkers scream at how close that paper airplane was to making it through the door to the office, but that it landed instead on my light kit once again.  This lesser man might feel a slight ringing in his hearing because blasting the soundtrack to The Guardian is preferable to hearing, “HENH!?!?!?!” every time someone says ANYTHING to one of his coworkers.  For example:

LARRY: Want to see this cool game I just found?

ROBERT: HENH?!

LARRY: Check out my high score.  I used the multiball.

DAVID: It seems harder than it should be.

ROBERT: HENH!? belch WHOA! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM.  BETTER THAN COMING OUT THE OTHER END, AM I RIGHT?  HAHAHAHAHA

LARRY: Wow, I’m still going.  I’m a pinball wizard!

ME: (put on headphones)

LARRY: Let’s throw this paper airplane around for an hour!

ROBERT: HENH?!

LARRY: (throws paper airplane which lands on top of my light stand bag)

ROBERT: AHHHHOOOOOOOO, WHERE DID IT GO?

LARRY: It went over the fence.  Don’t let it touch Jon or he’ll punch you in the face.

ROBERT: (knocking over everything) JON, PLEASE DON’T PUNCH ME IN THE FACE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME

ME: no promises

ROBERT: HENH?!

LARRY: He said, ‘no promises’.

ROBERT: OH, JON. WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU (throws paper airplane)

LARRY: OH! Just missed my all time score.

DAVID: You were so close.

ROBERT: WHERE IS MY STAPLER! IT KEEPS DISAPPEARING.  CAN I BORROW SOMEONE’S STAPLER PLEASE?!

(Seriously.  I just transcribed all of this from reality.)

A lesser man might transcribe word-for-word the ridiculousness he hears every day and change the names to protect those coworkers.  A lesser man might see a trailer for the upcoming film Act of Valor and hear the words,

“You live your life by a code. It’s your shoreline, it’s what guides you home.”

and this lesser man might be inspired by this and by his own code, an ethical disposition which has been like a precious life-preserver in the face of coworkers who are lazy and who revel in things one might find disgusting, base, foul, juvenile or just plain wrong.  And this lesser man might do a job search on the more difficult days or close himself off or snap at an innocent person who is just ignorant at that moment, and not stupid like his coworkers.

I am that lesser man.

What do you think?